It has come to my deepest thoughts about my self as a human being on this earth.
What are the purposes of my presence here on earth.
Why is my life so awkward and seem so meaningless?
It seems that something is missing…but what is it? I’m still searching..
And I will search until my last breath.
If I look around, I’m surrounded by one word COMFORT..
Yep, I’m living in the comfort zone..This to me is danger. I’m afraid that I can’t leap from this zone..
I’m never comfortable in this zone, and always willing to run.
I keep on running, but when should I stop..
I keep on searching, bet when should I find the true answers to all of my questions..
When is the word “enough” come out and fills my heart?
I live in a small and cozy apartment in the middle of this big city
I have a gorgeous husband and a beautiful daughter.
I have enough food to eat, I have enough love from my husband and daughter.
But why am I still not feeling complete…
Something is missing..and I’m whispering to wind,”Please tell the world I’m missing something? Something is lost from me? Can you help me find it? Please tell the nine winds to search through the earth, where can it be?”
In this lonely morning at
Through these years, I’ve been sleeping though I am awake.
Through these years, I can’t sleep well at night and becoming an insomnia freak.
I don’t know, am I suffering from such a psychological disturbance or something?
Why am I thinking all the and contemplating on my self, finding out what’s wrong with me?
Is it so wrong to have a dream..
Is it so wrong for a “kampungnese” (for what my husband calls me “urang kampung”) person like me to chase a dream.
I’ve always trusted my heart, though sometimes people seem to underestimate my decisions. But these past years I’ve changed, I’m trying to trust God with all I am.
So I pray...
God please be in my head and in my heart.
So every step I make will be according to your will.
I’ve been running all these time from the Ultimate One!
I’m tired..I give my life, I give my dreams to you..
Lord, please tell me what are Your ways? I’m so stupid and feeling so weary trying to understand what is Your will..
Is there any opportunity my dreams and Your will collide?
I’ve been through so many hardship that I’m starting to question so many things, even my faith in You..I’m so soory Lord..
I feel like the most precious part of me is vanishing and missing..If the most important thing is missing than how can I live..
Please don’t let me be alone..I really really want to hug You,Lord.
Please let me feel Your presence..
Please..
Please give me back the heart of loving you completely..
Please lessen my burdens..
Lord, please come back and live in my heart..in my blood, in my breath, in every existence I am, please be in me..
I miss u so much Lord Jesus…
